Either I’m paranoid, or they really do like my hair. Ive mentioned before that I recently jumped back into the rat race and in my first week, I wore buns everyday so no one actually saw my hair out or down. I washed and deep conditioned my hair over the weekend so  I decided what the hell ‘I am gonna rock a braid out’. It was smaller in the morning when I left the house than it was when I actually got into the office, but I was used to that.
They weren’t ready
The comments so far have been ‘Wow”, you look like “Chaka Khan” ” I love your hair all, big (I swear she rolled her eyes- just sayin)”, “girl them curls…see mmm mm, I couldn’t do it, but I love yours” (no you don’t!) ‘its all crinkly and stuff’ (code for weird)
WTF?
are those compliments? because really I can’t tell – I must say many of the facial expressions have been surprise, awe and smiles so that’s a good start. I have heard alot about on the job comments good and bad, and I usually have a laundry list of ways to deal with them, some of which I have retired because it has been so long. Time to wake the dead!
1. Always reinforce a seemingly negative comment with something positive and uplifting – maybe they might follow up with, ‘she’s so vain’ in their minds but that’s ok! self love is awesome and there is no betrayal there.
2. Sometimes people can be negative and want to touch your hair at the same time, a little side move never hurt anyone. If they are reaching with those five finger weapons just kinda bob and weave that bad boy, they will get the picture.
3. Have fun with it! when that guy said I looked like Chaka Khan – why cant I spell her name, I swear I typed it like 5 times! – I just started singing one of her songs and everyone laughed, now the smart commenter is no longer the center of the situation, which should decrease the smart comments since they know you have cute ways of popping their little smartie pants bubbles.
4. turn the conversation towards something else, oh you hate my hair,…. awww those are some cute shiny golden sandals you are wearing to our client meeting so 80’s sheek – rolling eyes
All in all my hair has always commanded attention even in the most conservative of styles, having natural hair is still a ‘thing’ in some parts. So until they ‘get it’ I will find ways to deal.
How do you deal with at work hair snobs?
Em
“Always reinforce a seemingly negative comment with something positive and uplifting” —– > that’s what I try and do as well. People can say whatever they want right? It is up to us to not let their negativity bring our positivity down. You know I worked at JP Morgan Chase for 2 years and for two flippin years I heard comments about my hair and how I should cut/straighten/trim/moisturize/etc. it. It is actually one of the reasons I quit! Couldn’t stand those people!
And remember this line by Dead Prez, “When you love yourself, its always gon be haters”
gotta love Dead Prez..right!… banks are major culprits … wonder why? lol
Love this post Em. Can’t believe people are still like this about natural hair in 2013.
You know how so many bacteria these days have become resistant to antibiotics because people stop taking them once they feel better instead of completing the full course? In a way, that’s the problem with natural hair at work these days. Some women wear it big and out one day and after all the comments good and bad you then go back to buns or ‘conservative’ styles for a while then maybe a few months later, try a natural style again.
We need to kill this disease once and for all!! I say we wear it bigger and badder every single day until they become desensitized and start seeing our hair as normal. That way nobody will even bat an eyelid at another naturalista starting work there a few months down the line.
Am I coming off a bit like ‘Fight the power’?
haha.. just a little bit!.. but you are absolutely right, I was a victim of it too because I put my hair in a bun for the rest of the day !… I think that might be the solution because there is strength in numbers, but honestly we dont have enough numbers, at least not here where I am 🙁
Hi! I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. There are a lot of naturalista in my workplace, from the top to the bottom. We definitely have a strength in numbers situation over here. The vast majority of us where our hair in some sort of natural style and no one bats (or rolls) an eye…well with the exception of those who unhealthy relaxed hair. Some days in the cafe, I find myself in awe of all of the women there who have ditched relaxers and have embraced their God given hair. It’s so cool. No, we don’t have a natural hair group at work…that I’m aware of. Everyone is just real cool and nonchalant about it. I believe because there are so many of us at work, most of our coworkers are, for lack of better works, use to our hair.
I do feel for Marcelo. JP is, and will be for a long time, an old boys club. Barriers are only broken down if they want them broken down. I am smiling that he didn’t waiver though and I hope that he found something better and far less stressful.
You are a one of the lucky ones Courtney but if anything it does prove Alma’s point that there is strength in numbers and if we all rock it then no WILL bat an eye eventually. I think there are certain industries that need work with true diversity (they preach this all day but never mean it). Finance is defin one of them. Thanks so much for commenting 🙂
I’m in the Military. The Air Force in particular. And I have come across several women of all races wearing natural hair. And the Military isn’t as friendly with natural hair, they are tolerant. And I have seen many new converts. I have had natural hair for over 10 years. And it has been a mixed experience. Especially on deployments where you work 12 plus hour days and you may have 1 day off per week.
The hair facilities on base have no experience with African American hair, especially since the military contracts local stylist. And the availability of products are so narrow, everything have to be bought online. I encountered many African American women who desperately approached me to ask if I know how to braid.
It’s sad, especially for the women working on the frontline. Many women opted to cut their hair off, or to perm their own hair. I have seen so much damage.
I’m still confused of why locks are not allowed in the military. The allow braids, why not locks? They look very similar to me. They are easy to maintain and they can be pulled into a bun or French braid. In my opinion, as long as they can neatly fit under a hat and is your natural hair color it shouldn’t be a problem. A large majority of people feel the same way and consider the ban an ethnic bias. I’ve heard the military consider locks dirty or a faddish hairstyle. But they have been a Godsend to me when they did allow locks in the military. I was deployed twice with them. They made my life so easy, but I was saddened to see my natural and permed hair sister’s struggle. And many still do. I hope they raise the band, since they demand so much from the military they should allow leniency in return.
I am so grateful for your comment, it really is sad the stuff we have to go through in order to do what is considered ‘the right thing’in our society. To be in the army is such a huge sacrifice for men and women and to think that something as simple as what grows naturally out of your head is what they focus on is just plain ludacris. I dont know if you watched Dark girls tonight but one of the ladies who talked about the struggles of dark skinned women talked about how images of the west is perpetuated through the media even when we are talking everyday about appreciating who we are as black women. In the Military its the same thing, old traditions based, God knows what. Locs are considered dirty not just here but in places what you would never expect such a strange and stupid stereotypes (I will share this with you, my own father hates locs and considers it dirty, its a belief he will never let go of)
..sigh you would think they would make things easier for the women in the military .. considering… Thank your so much for commenting and thank you for your service as well !:)